Several years ago, my wife and I were helping a young couple plant a new church in our community. One Sunday morning a lady confronted me in a church lobby and wanted to know WHAT I am. She was not an attender at the church but had actually traveled there just to angrily interrogate me. At first I was confused by the question. “I’m a human” I thought, or perhaps it was a religious question so I said “I’m a follower of Christ.” That was not at all satisfactory and she boldly repeated the question, louder this time so I could hear her clearly. It quickly became obvious that she wanted to know my political party, so I stated I was an independent. She then became aggressive because she absolutely had to find a little box in which she could place me. Once that was done, she would automatically know everything about me. When I finally explained that I was actually quite complex, she declared I was a liberal and then drew conclusions about my life, family, and viewpoints on virtually any topic. She created her box, and therein I would dwell forever.
At the time, I was really focused on knowing people as individuals, building relationships based on openly sharing perceptions and possibilities. Having spent many years working with youth, I knew that everyone is different, and has a diverse collection of gifts and talents from our creator that we can use to meld into a beautiful world. I will admit to being inquisitive, learning a variety of perspectives on a situation, and exploring possibilities. Thus, those little boxes never worked for me.
Today our society has fixated on those boxes, and they have a lot of well known, but confusing labels. In fact, the labels elicit emotions, and there are usually opposing boxes with their own labels. For example, consider the Pro Life and Pro Choice boxes. Neither really explains the perspectives of those who are crammed into them. Neither describes the actual position taken by it’s inhabitants. However, great assumptions are made about the people who reside in each, most of it inaccurate. Another favorite pairing are Liberal and Conservative. To conservatives, a liberal is anyone who does not parrot their viewpoints. However, liberals see much confusion in the principles of conservatives. Neither has formal definitions. They just are coupled with tones of disgust to define people with views contrary to what one wants to believe.
Coupled with these boxes are the emotional significance placed on them. The rancor existing between people defined by these labels never leads to anything positive. It never solves problems, or resolves disagreements. Instead, it stokes the fires of hostility until people reach out in violent rebellion against the others. Sometimes its just a war of words, but too often it manifests itself in physical acts of harm.
The lady who confronted me that day in the church vestibule had no idea what I really believed. However, thereafter she felt it was perfectly ok, and her Christian duty, to share her “knowledge” with others. None of the things she said were true, but she still proclaimed a God given obligation to warn the believers of the danger I possessed.
Right now our country has many significant issues to resolve. People want to work and support their families, but the jobs are not there. Others want to study and obtain skills to benefit our society, yet they can’t afford the costs of education. Our physical infrastructure needs attention. People with critical, but resolvable health problems need an effective treatment delivery option. Working together we can do so much.
The problem with boxes is they create adversarial relationships, rather than building strong, positive unions. They also cause us to not see the benefits others can provide in our society because we only look at some label hung on them based on one tiny speck of their world view. If God wanted us to all be exactly the same, He would have created us that way. Instead he created us differently, expecting to meld, and work together, as we progressed through our lives. He wanted us to share, explore, love, and progress, mastering the challenges we face united for the benefit of all.
I’m thankful that I can see so many positive attributes of others, and even those with whom I may disagree on certain topics. If you are busy putting people in boxes, might you consider getting to know them as individuals instead. That person who differs from you may actually be able to heap great blessings on your life in ways you could never imagine. Yes, it’s kind of an old 60’s hippy thing, but that works for me. Love, Peace, Joy … may they be present in your life.