The news starts with some new tragedy that has just occurred. Once a description of the event, and consequences, is revealed, the media turns to “national leaders” to hear their response. As the cameras roll, and the recording begins, that famous line, “Our thoughts and prayers are with you” is spoken earnestly And with that, we move on to wait for the next tragedy, knowing full well the future holds no change.
So what does this mean? First, we might want to explore those “thoughts”. Exactly what are these people thinking ? We dare not ask, because the response would likely be silence, or some trite comment about keeping these people in our thoughts in future days. Secondly, just what are those prayers, and for whom ? Prayers are considered to be petitions to our God ( no matter the religion ), with specific requests, and about individuals. So, for whom are we praying, and what are we asking ? The answer would likely be a generalization, “I’m praying for all those people and their families”. Try asking, in addition, when the individual is offering up these prayers. The silent response is your answer.
So how do “thoughts and prayers” assist the individuals help those who were harmed in the tragic event. The answer is stark … they are meaningless. In essence, such a response is simply saying “I noticed, and I didn’t care enough to actually do something about this problem.”
How does this oft repeated statement help those who mutter it ? It’s a diversion, placing the responsibility for any type of action in the hands of others.
This is a phrase which I now refuse to use. It is not only meaningless, but it is insulting to those for whom we share it. I’m not against thoughts or prayers, but thoughts need to lead to deeds, and prayers need to be specific, and often seeking guidance on how I can be an instrument in helping the persons who were harmed.
Followers of Christ harken to Matthew 25:34-46 where Jesus calls us to action whenever we see a need. Other religions have similar directives that tell us to turn our focus from words, and into practical steps to help others in need. He summarizes by saying “whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
“Thoughts and prayers” are not “action”. Sitting with a person and listening to them share their hurts, taking them a meal or cleaning a house, delivering flowers, contributing to a fund to cover expenses: all of these are actions,
It’s time to retire this meaningless phrase, at least in our own personal lives. It’s time to show we really care about others. It’s time to embrace a higher calling to greatness by showing ourselves as participants in the effort to be a hand up for those buried in an abyss of despair. Let the first words from our mouths, instead, be “How can I help you ( in a real way )?”