Mary was having “one of those days” and it wasn’t getting any better. She was late to meet her friends for a special celebration, and her last client had delayed her by 45 minutes. As she was driving to the rendezvous, she encountered a red light. Grabbing her phone, she looked down to text her friends that she would be late. Then she sensed the car next to her starting to move so she stepped on the gas.
Brad was a devoted dad, so thrilled with is 3 month old daughter. However, Sarah was so fussy, and he decided a short ide in the car might calm her. When he tried strapping her into the seat, the thrashing was pretty significant. “This one time, I’ll just place her in the seat. No need to fight it … it’s just a short drive” he thought. Brad approached the intersection when Sarah let out a mighty yell. He turned to see what was wrong … just for an instant.
Brad never saw the red light, Mary never saw him coming through it, yet their first meeting was a ferocious contact that sent Sarah bouncing against the insides of the car, until her broken and lifeless body fell on her unconscious father.
Brad never imagined his daughter would be endangered by this calming ride. Mary never considered texting would lead to this. That night many lives were altered, but none of the consequences were intended. They all resulted from seemingly innocent actions, and yet the destruction was inescapable.
So often we make decisions in our lives without ever thinking how they might harm others, or ourselves, as a result. In fact, we may think that the action is good, or will benefit others. Sometimes our actions take us by surprise because of the unintended consequences. In most cases, our decisions are not that important, and an example like this seems overly dramatic. In other cases, our actions can have massive effects. Consider the mother who went shopping with a loaded gun in her purse, a round chambered, and the safety off. The purse was in the cart with her toddler, and the curious little one found the gun, which discharged, killing his mother. Had she thought about it, she might have realized the danger of her action, and made sure no round was chambered, and the safety was on. In fact, she might have kept the purse on her shoulder, away from the reach of her child.
We constantly see warnings in our lifetime, which, when ignored, allow disasters to occur. Sometimes our response to the cautions is “I have my rights”, or “Don’t tell me what to do”, or even “Seriously, that’s all you have to worry about?” We want to blaze our own paths, exercises our own viewpoints, be untethered to rules that are intended to keep us all from harm. In doing so, we risk destructive, unintended consequences.
The point here is quite simple. We need to slow down, seek input, evaluate the total situation, and then make our decisions. It’s not as complex as the statement may seem. We rush through so many things in our lives, never taking a few seconds to consider what we are about to do. Input comes not only from others, but first from our senses. Evaluating the total situation may be just looking around, or if we are making an important decision, it may involve evaluating the identifiable possible outcomes. Then we set a plan and proceed.
What are some easy ways to avoid unintended consequences. Lets take a trip to the beach as an example. When we arrive, we don’t simply dive into the water, and swim out a ways to have fun. First, it’s a good idea to look around. Do you see any flags put up by lifeguards indicating riptides or other dangers in the water ? Before diving, it’s a good idea to see how deep the water is where you intend to plummet. If you don’t see anyone in the water, it might be wise to find out why. This only takes a few moments, but it could save you from serious injury, or reassure you that this time will be fun because it’s safe to proceed.
Now consider a life changing decision, like buying a home. You would like to do this because you want a place your family can call your own. You look, find a place that is very satisfying, and the realtor encourages you to grab it up before it’s too late. There are some critical questions. How much work will it need, and what might that cost? What are you compromising with this location, floor plan, and even the landscaping? How stable are your finances? If you are moving ahead knowing you need special financing, or after seeing there are numerous problems that need to be resolved, your best intentions can turn to a disaster. What if you lose your job, suffer a major illness, or the market turns downward devaluing the property? Can you handle that ? What if the schools turn out to be a mess for your kids? The problems could be endless, or they might not exist. Carefully studying the situation will help you avoid those unintended consequences.
Things inevitably happen in our lives. Some can’t be avoided. However, we will be far stronger if we take some time to evaluate before impulsively taking actions that might not benefit us. Unintended consequences can be avoided in many situations, if only we stop to think about what we are doing, and give credence to the input we receive.